Returning to the ring...and ironic winks

After a 6 month hiatus from all online dating (every girl deserves a break from the crazy), my friends have convinced me to sign back up with Match and have challenged me to go on a minimum of one date a week...even if it's a guy I'm not interested in. This will be amazing for my stories, so I'm up for it.

This is week one and I've had 474 views to my profile, a ton of "winks" and 20 very awkward emails. I was having hopes that I wouldn't hate this part of it this time around, but I do. Like an immediate reaction to it was "ugh".

Funny, today I received a wink from someone with the screenname lucky and immediately following that someone with the screen name bad luck. Is this the universe's way of telling me to call it a draw?

to be continued...

Magnum Man has a question...

Subject: Your profile sparked a question...

Hi,


I was wondering if you are a brat because you kinda look like you are.

Jason


Yes Jason, follow the yellow brick road of insults to my heart.

Magnum Man has a question...

Subject: Your profile sparked a question...

The Long Island DJ...

hi..

I saw your ad, was very impressed. Not only with the way you look, but also what you had to say...

After looking over your profile, I noticed a few things, and felt I should point them out.

1. I live in Ny as well, LI to be exact :)

2. Im in the entertainment business, and I have a feeling that you might be intrigued by that..

3. heres the info on me... I happen to be a nice, respectable, definitely funny and witty guy, and Im tired of the games women play. (no its not just us guys that do it) lol..

So, why did I contact you? Your the perfect height for me, Your the right age Im looking for, your mad cute, and you seem to have your life together...


Heres what I suggest... Talk to me, get to know me, Ill do the same for you..and well see if the man of your dreams may possibly be waiting...

Gary

Oh really....oh lord!

If you ordered fried banana would you share it with me?

I haven't really been online lately to check any messages, but received this today from monkeyman100300:

"If I could say anything to you I will say this :)............. Your words are positive your eyes are dazzeling and your smile is something I have instantly fallen in love with. To think I accidentaly fallen onto your profile is a fall I would gladly take over and over. My name is Justin.... I would love to get to know you from the little things to the ones that moves you. I would like to leave you with two questions very simple ones dont worry lol. What is your favorite color? And. If you ordered fried banana would you share it with me with out thinking twice about it? Oh yeah it also has vanilla ice cream ;)"

Ok, so it started off kind of normal and nice. It's definitely refreshing to read that someone thinks you have a great smile. Call me the grammar police but the words spelled incorrectly were kind of ridic...but that isn't the main thing that bothered me, what bothered me was the fried banana bit. Ok, ok I have a sick sense of humor and my mind immediately goes to places it shouldn't from the simplest things people say or write to me, but umm (1) Who orders fried banana? (2) what's the deal with adding vanilla ice cream? ...is this supposed to be a wierd phallic fantasy of this guy, watching girls eat fried bananas with vanilla ice cream? What if I like chocolate ice cream? hahahaha

LuvinLife6000

Should I be concerned that this guy has listed me as a favorite, his profile below:

I’m very fortunate in that I don’t have any trouble getting dates on my own, it’s just that I’m looking for someone different; someone special. I have a list, I call it my "MUST" list. It’s the qualities that I’m looking for:

Someone who’s INTELLIGENT (book, street and emotional smarts), someone who’s OUTGOING, OPEN-MINDED, SPONTANEOUS, BOLD and has a great sense of HUMOR; someone who’s SEXY and PLAYFUL; someone with a GREAT SMILE; someone who’s CONFIDENT, PASSIONATE, OUTRAGEOUS, CREATIVE and places a high priority on their HEALTH and being fit; someone who likes ANIMALS and the OUTDOORS, has lots of ENERGY, someone who has LEVELS - who can be 12 or 35 or 85 years old depending on the circumstances, someone who sees the world as a place with UNLIMITED POSSIBILITY, someone with a WILD SIDE tempered with good judgment, someone who I can pitch and catch ideas with, someone who sees the big picture and has a sense of CONTRIBUTION, someone with a big HEART. That's the "MUST" list.

Now comes the “LIKE TO HAVE” list. Someone who likes PIZZA, plays a sport, squeezes the TOOTHPASTE from the bottom of the tube, likes CHOCOLATE, likes chocolate LICKED off their body, likes to LICK chocolate off other people’s bodies (it's ok if you're a caramel person); someone who’s PLAYFUL (I know it’s on my "MUST" list, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in twice). That’s what I’m looking for. Now for a little about me……....see all of the above.....and don't judge my pic too harshly, I look better in person.

Ummmmmmmmm..............

Special Talents?

Would you find it strange if someone asked you this:

"Do you have any special talents that might surprise me?"